I’m Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today! by Steve

                So there I sat, as our small group slowly was picked up or continued to wait.  I did tell them that I’d be in like 40 minutes ago, right?  Well, how do I call that number again…slightly less bad connection this time…the voice on the other end of the line produced a string of expletives and rapidly utter comments about losing track of time…half muffled instructions to someone else…and assurances of a rapid pick-up.  Hmmm, wonder how long it’ll take em to drive here, what kind of vehicle am I looking for?  Hope it isn’t one of these folks already sitting in the parking lot and I’ve just missed a link-up by mere feet…oh, no, that’s not the case.  One young female E-5 sergeant comes wandering up from my left past a series of national flags…uh, where’s the ride?  After introductions, I stow my four duffel bags of assorted weighty crap in a rack with chain available for securing (it has always entertained me how we, in the military, lock up cloth duffle bags with bulky master locks to prevent pilfering, which I suppose would be a sound theory if it wasn’t possible to just gut the side of a cloth duffle bag with a knife and take whatever you want)….and away we…walk?

          

      She hands me a temporary badge and in we go directly into ISAF Joint Command HQ (IJC; reference again love of acronyms within acronym fetishes) about 100 yards away.  Now mind you, less than a week ago I had specifically asked my branch manager if I was still going to ISAF as agreed…we agreed on me being and ISAF planner, but my WIAS tasker says USFOR-A.  “Of course,” was the response, “USFOR-A just owns the people.”  What he failed to mention was that he considered IJC part of ISAF, one in the same.  That’s correct, isn’t it?  Well, not exactly…the International Security Assistance Force Headquarters would be the four star headquarters with the entire command of the coalition forces in Afghanistan and that commands relationship with NATO and the rest of the world.  ISAF Joint Command (IJC) is the three star headquarters (primarily filled with a U.S. conventional corps headquarters) that owns the coalition combat forces in Afghanistan focused down and in with the detail of operations in Afghanistan.  “Machts Nichts” you might say, “you’re getting what you want, a joint assignment (fingers crossed), deployed, and NATO/ISAF experience.”  True, but I’ll give you my two cents about why I would have rather been at ISAF.  

Although everyone at IJC says, “oh, you don’t want to be at ISAF”; I have been assigned/worked in/for three two or three star headquarters, even with the differences at IJC, I feel like I’ve checked this block.  The first task that I was introduced to involved counting troops in Afghanistan down to the individual and into the future, not exactly high-order thinking; and most importantly, IJC comes in as a set package; 3^rd Corps currently to be replaced soon by 18^th Airborne Corps.  I am already an outsider; the personnel assigned to 3^rd Corps come in together and then the SAMS individuals come in after being classmates for 10 months.  18^th ABC will also come in largely already set and then augmented by various individuals and a package of SAMS grads…I anticipate that I will be an relative outsider through the extent of my tour…but when it comes down to it, work is work, and one year is one year.  Both organizations are new to me, so I will learn a lot, get exposure to NATO/Coalition operations, and reset my dwell time with joint qualification as a bonus.  Beggars can’t be choosers, but I guarantee my branch manager realized quickly that I wasn’t 100% pleased, and responded with “I hope you didn’t think this was a bait-and-switch.”  I don’t necessarily blame him, but he probably should have known/kept me informed.  This reinforces my adage about the military in general: “the only person looking out for you and your career is you.”

                So starts in-processing: I meet the man who refers to himself as “The One” and he begins to in-process me.  First friction point:  you’re going to be here at IJC.  Oh well, I did break the number one rule in the military: “don’t volunteer for nuthin’”.   Second friction point:  this says you’re going to a SAMS planner job, but you’re not SAMS…uh, yeah, we all knew that going in.  Third friction point:  you say you’re going to a slot that DA has been delinquent in filling for five months, but there is still a guy in it for the next month.  Well isn’t this interesting.  At least I know my fate, and my final destination; I have come home.  The guy I am replacing is over to pick me up in short order, and we are off to start in-processing (always fun with the military).  Most interesting piece of information is my release date…that’s right, I now have a tangible goal to work toward…I know, I know, my goal should be mission accomplishment, or professional development, or something much more glorious and noble…sorry, in this type of assignment, the day of the 20^th of October 2014 is my immediate personal goal, and it’s now what I will plan towards.

                As we step off smartly to get lodging, linen, badges, and computer systems working, it becomes readily apparent to me that I am in my fourth straight day of travel, having had one shower, two shaves, and taken my boots off one evening when I actually made it into a bed.  My feet are a little throbby from hours of time on planes and waiting and now burn as I walk.  I remind myself that I used to be an infantryman who would operate for a month or more without showering in squalid conditions, but it always seemed better and more appropriate when I was in the woods.  As my first day draws to a close, I get an opportunity to sit down with my new boss, however temporary he may be.  During the conversation I am intimately aware that I’m sporting a 23 o’clock shadow and smell like the last passenger seat I sat in mixed with the smell of old leather shoes.  He welcomes me to the team and we discover that we closely crossed paths in Fort Riley, Kansas.  I also discover that his boss is someone who I’ve run into in the Army, including at Fort Riley, whom I’ve always respected.  Then he drops the next interesting note; “Welcome to Kabul, we’re going to send you to Brunssum in a week.”

                First question in my mind, what’s a Brunssum.  That would become evident fairly quickly, although I did spend half of a day nodding as if I knew what everyone was talking about, but then I discovered that NATO has several Joint Force Commands of their own, one at Brunssum in the Netherlands (JFC-BS)….I was going to Europe for Temporary DutY (TDY) from Afghanistan…well now, hasn’t the world turned on its head.

                The day ends meeting a new roommate in a dorm-like room in a two story barracks with a 7:15 am link-up time the next morning with my officemates for breakfast and work….