Homeschooling

Homeschool : Because I didn’t like the “Village” 

Hillary Clinton once wrote a book by the title It Takes a Village. I’m not going to pretend that I read it, because I didn’t…reading the bible backwards on a Tilt-A-Whirl while being stoned sounds more interesting. Why? I don’t really subscribe to her views on “the collective” with regards to anything else, much less raising children. I also don’t think any village knows what’s best for my kids…and knowing our luck, my kid would be the one stuck with the Village Idiot as her teacher. 

While we were living at West Point, Katie Beth reached school age. I thought about sending her to the school on post, but then I also thought about the dynamics of attending a school on such a small military post. To understand, you’d have to understand the dynamics of West Point. The majority of those living on post were Field Grade Officers and above. There were more Majors at West Point than probably anywhere else in the Army…combined! (I’m only half kidding.) Now, this may make some question what could possibly be wrong with that. The problem was that everyone worked together, lived among each other, and socialized together. Your spouse’s boss was also an officer and likely had children in the same school; possibly in the same class. I don’t really see the advantage of her going to school with such a built-in rank structure, even though they claim there isn’t one; much less such a homogenous group of people… everyone was virtually the same. Yes. there were differences in our backgrounds, race, politics, religion, etc., but for the most part we were very much a white-washed (figuratively speaking) community. Almost every house on our street had at least one child in the same grade as everyone else on the street. Just off the top of my head, I can name 10 kids all in the same grade. 

We constantly hear public school advocates talk about how one of the benefits of the system is exposure to other cultures, races, religions, etc. etc. etc. There was very little diversity on our street…or on West Point for that matter. Every child’s parents had, virtually, the same background with the exception of their individual department or overall branch. The moms were typically stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) and the dads were either professors or tactical officers. There were a few dual-military families and there were even fewer moms who worked outside of the home. I was one of those in the “fewer” category. 

My point being, the school on post offered limited exposure to any outside influence or any relationship with children growing up in a civilian (non-military) lifestyle. I thought that exposure was not only important, but imperative. How would she know and understand what other kids' lives are like if all she sees are mirror images of her own? Steve will retire eventually and what will she know about life outside the Army if we don’t expose her to that lifestyle? 

There was another dynamic of the on-post school that I wanted to be as far removed from as possible. Not many non-military families, understand this…but it does exist and it does occur; more than anyone else will admit. Undue influence by a higher ranking officer over my child. What does that mean? I’ll give you an example. If my kid is on the playground and gets kicked in the shin by LTC So-and-So’s daughter, I don’t want to have to have that conversation. Why because LTC So-and-So may be golfing, fishing, or hunting buddies with the LTC that signs my husband’s OER. Another example. Katie Beth punches a little boy in the face one day for looking up her skirt. (A scenario never likely to happen, but just go with it for a second.) She gets disciplined for her actions. Maybe I disagree with the discipline given to her by her teacher…or maybe her teacher holds it over her head for some time. Come to find out Mrs. Teacher’s husband is in my husband’s chain-of-command and she’s unhappy that I didn’t come to a coffee she hosted. Oh, you are snickering and saying, “That’s childish. Something like that would never happen.” Ha Ha Ha…yes, people can be just that ridiculous....I've seen Army-Wife level ridiculous at its finest! And so, yet again…a conflict of interest that you can’t avoid. 

Now, I’m not saying this happened often…I’m not saying it happened ever, although I did hear some PTA horror stories. My point is that I never wanted to put my husband’s career or my child in that position. 

So, we decided to send her to this very small Catholic school just outside the gates. (Note: we’re not catholic, but the education and the teachers were amazing.) Almost half of the kids in her class were actually West Point kids, but the other half were all children who lived “normal” non-military lives off post. She ended up best friends with two of her non-military classmates, whom she keeps in touch with still, which I find great because she’ll have that connection to New York for years to come I hope. The backgrounds of her classmates varied, socioeconomically and culturally…religious diversity was "somewhat" lacking, but it was a Catholic school, remember! Some of the parents had lived in that town their entire lives and some only lived there because of the relative ease to commute to their jobs in NYC. 

 It was a great fit for what we were wanting for her, academically and socially. 

Fast forward to San Antonio. 

Prior to moving here, I had done an extensive amount of research on the private schools. Once we had located and purchased a house, I realized that the private schools I was interested in were no longer feasible, as it would have been about a 45 minute commute in rush-hour traffic, both ways. I had been told by many familiar with San Antonio that the public schools were amazing. So, reluctantly, I began doing a little research in to those as well. Everything I was able to find on the internet talked about how the schools were great, top-rated schools…brand-new buildings, facilities, equipment, blah blah blah. Fan-freakin’-tastic! Right? Right! Wrong!!!! 

We enrolled her in 2nd grade at a school less than a mile away from our house; a house we purchased in a location specifically because the schools were "so amazing"...it was only a year or two old at the time. After the first week of school, I was completely perplexed. Her weekly homework consisted of one sheet of paper, with what looked like a very small version of a checker board…about 12 squares in all. Within each square was one question; a math problem, a vocabulary word, a geography question…or something of that nature. Of the ENTIRE page, there was but only 1 math problem…ONE!  Never did I see more than 1 math question. Each week, they had to complete 7 of these squares…that’s it. Nothing else for the week. Complete 7 for the week and you’re done. Needless to say, she only had homework one night a week and it lasted about 15 minutes, max! 

 Now here’s an even more shocking development that occurred about 3 or 4 weeks down the road…Katie Beth brings home a note with her homework explaining that the kids will only be required to complete 5 of the homework questions each week because of all the complaints they had received from other parents about excessive homework! Wha…Wha…WTF? I’ll just leave that one alone, because I think the absolute idiocy of that is evident. 

Finally the parent-teacher conference rolled around. I went, armed with a handful of questions. What math curriculum is being used? English Grammar? History? Aside from the obvious question of “What the heck is up with this homework?”…. Boy, was I shocked and dismayed! There was not a single text book in that entire class. Nothing…nada…zilch! Huh? Yeah, well…we’ll get to that in a second. 

I started off asking about the lack of work being sent home for her to complete? I was informed that their homework was developed district-wide so that each and every kid within the district had the same quality and quantity of homework. Crazy say huh? Ok, ok…that’s somewhere within the the range of borderline logical. But what about this amount? One math question a week?...and usually one that doesn’t even pertain to what was discussed in class, according to my child? Explain that one? I was, politely, told that there was nothing she (the teacher) could do about it but I was certainly welcome to supplement anything at home if I so chose to do so. Well no shit, Sherlock! I didn’t assume that I would need your permission for that, but whatevs. Let’s move on… 

When I requested to see what they were using as a curriculum my request was batted around like a badmitton birdie…it was a giant smack that was said so politely that it seemed to hang in the air and float down ever so whimsically. Oh, ok…I get it. She finally spilled it. The district did not have textbooks! Let me repeat that. The District Did Not Have Textbooks! What they do have is a Director of Curriculum who physically writes the math curriculum, and other subjects, that each and every class works off. So I guess we now know how they can afford such shiny, bright, new schools…the size of the college that I attended, by the way! They’re saving that textbook budgeted line-item and paying someone to write it…why? Because they have a state test that THEY MUST PASS …so they design the curriculum around the state’s testing guidelines. In other words, they straight-up, blatantly, no sugar-coating…TEACH TO THE TEST! Holy crapola! They not only teach TO the test…they actually teach THE TEST! 

So now let’s talk about some little assessment that was given to Katie Beth the first week of school. Her teacher handed it over to me and all she said was, “Katie Beth is right on target. She’ll do great this year.” So, as I sat there for a moment and looked at these test "results", I realized that on each and every benchmark it stated Exceeds Grade Level. Um…quantitatively speaking, that seems a little more than “right on target” but I’ll humor her for a couple more of her stupid comments. Then I asked how she was doing when compared to the other kids in her class…yeah...her teacher admitted to me that she believed Katie Beth was,  no less than, 3 grade levels ahead of where the other kids where academically. 

So next we have a discussion about the gifted program. I asked about her eligibility for enrolling in that program. I was told that, as a new student, she would not be considered for the gifted program until she completed the full academic year. Stupid says what? Oh yes, you read that right…she would have to sit in that class, twiddling her thumbs, learning absolutely squat before they would even consider her for the gifted program.

Next up:  library access.  I asked why Katie Beth had never been to the library, never brought home a library book (not that it was really necessary, because she’s stocked up on books)?… I was told that 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders weren’t allowed to check out books from the library. Wha…What…WHAT? So, it’s not actually a library, but more like a museum that you aren't allowed to go into? Oh, and did I mention most of the kids in her class couldn’t even read yet? Yeah, so no wonder they can’t go to the library…because most of them can’t even frickin’ read! 

So, by this point I’m realizing that this was just a shiny little box…all wrapped up in a beautiful little package…but completely devoid of anything on the inside! Holy crap, what are we doing with her stuck here? I guess a good education is now based solely on the quality of the facilities and not the quality of the academics.

After less than 2 months in this joke of a school…and I mean that in all sincerity…we pulled her out of the public school and placed her into a very expensive private school, albeit a Christian one, that was just up from the house. We decided to overlook the incessant Christian indoctrination because of its high quality academics. While it was a great school academically, and incorporated the Core Knowledge Scope and Sequence, it was snooty and over-priced. Hardly surprising, as I have found most Christian schools to be riddled with snobbery. The moral equivalent of a hugely over-priced Acura that thinks it’s a Mercedes. 

Her teacher at this school was good. She was experienced, taught very well, and Katie Beth learned so much from her that year. It was the philosophical differences, abstracts, and overall approach that I had trouble understanding; i.e. reading as a competition, judging one by their age instead of their ability to learn. Want to turn a highly non-competitive child who reads incessantly into one that no longer wants to read at all? Encourage her to read by making her compete with other kids…the kid who reads the most books wins. 

So after she completed the year…We made the decision that the best educational choice for her was to homeschool. Is it a choice that I think everyone should consider? Yes. Is it a choice that I think everyone should make? No. There are some out there are just better off with the Village at the wheel!...only kidding! 

We have been homeschooling now for almost a year and a half. It has its ups and downs, and moments when I want to completely throw in the towel. I’m not great at every subject or topic. What I lack, I know where to find the person that can take up the slack; most of those occasions the computer is our best resource. Some days, I don’t want to do schoolwork. Other days, we realize that it’s 9:30pm and we forgot to do her schoolwork. We aren’t perfect, but we are learning. More importantly, SHE is learning. She has the opportunity to do the things that she is most interested; mainly theater, dance, and pottery. She spends no less than 20 hours each week at her “extra-curricular” activities (I dislike referring to them as extra-curricular because they truly are of equal importance). 

Homeschooling lends a ton of flexibility to a military family like ours. We don’t have typical school schedules holding us back, and it allows us to travel together when possible. And, during times like now when Steve is deployed, it allows us to visit family easier or go on vacation at our luxury…although these days her theater and performance schedule keeps us from being as flexible as we would really like. 

The best part of being able to homeschool? Well, there are a lot of “best parts,” but getting to be together, spending time together, learning together…that’s truly the best part! 

And she gets to be a part of many different, smaller villages…ones that she chooses to be a part of, not forced into…and not just one big Village where she’s just another kid.